Going through the shock and trauma of losing a child is enough torture for anyone to bear. Others say that time heals all wounds. In the case for the majority of most bereaved parents this is not the case. Usually after a year, the initial shock of a child's death is just beginning to fade.
No one except someone who has experienced the same type of loss understands the perception of events that occur with a bereaved parent. Unconsciously, we count every day: one day, one week, one month, one year. In the same respect special days and holidays are the same.
When the first anniversary nears, this time can be very stressful for the bereaved parents. This time is especially hard because this is the first anniversary of an event that the bereaved parent ever thought they would have to encounter. It can bring back painful memories of the death of the child. Painful emotions stir all up again, it is like the child died all over again. For some, these feelings occur every year with every anniversary.
Outsiders will react differently to your emotions , so it is better to keep only positive and receptive influences around at this time. The best way to cope with these "angelversaries" is to try to have a positive outlook. The more positive your perception the easier and more productive these days will be.
Some ask; "How can I celebrate this day positively?" One thing you must realize:although the loss of your child is heart breaking and traumatic, the fact remains that you still and always will love your child. The mere existence of your child and the time spent with your child; no matter how long or short the time, is a gift. By knowing this, celebrate the life of your child. Sit with other supportive family and friends and rekindle the memories of your child. Share with pictures, or stories of your child. You can throw a party on the child's birthday to celebrate their life, celebrate with all of their favorite foods , and the presents can be donations to a charity that will be donated in your child's name. Be creative! As long as you are expressing your love for your child, there isn't any wrong idea.
While you are focusing on being positive, tears still may fall. A bereaved parent will always have moments where they have hurt feelings that remain because they want so much to be with their child. Remember to try to remain positive, and be easy on yourself when you can't.